What Is This Feeling
by teamfreewill82
Summary: From now on… no more not-first kisses. Please read and review. :) Thank you. Chuck Blair Chair


**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or anything pertaining to it. **

Just a scene lost to the world of _Gossip Girl_. Thank you and please review, lovelies. :)

"Piss off, Chuck." A 14 year old Blair Waldorf glares, all poison, at the boy known as Chuck Bass, or "Mother Chucker". Why she even tolerated his presence she would never understand. Well, maybe she did. His best friend, Nate Archibald, was her boyfriend of forever. And no way was she going to be the one to tell Nate Chuck was not only a waste of time but space and air. …But in times like these, when she was trying to tell _her_ best friend, Serena van der Woodsen, about her current boy troubles, the prospect of disappointing Nate seemed dull in comparison to screwing one over on that Bass-tard. "Or, I'll tell Mr. Archibald how you drank his good Schnapps at Nate's Christmas party last year." Blair tosses her auburn-brown hair behind her shoulder with a flick, nonchalant. Serena bites her lip to, unsuccessfully, hide a grin. Chuck's smirk remains, but his dark eyes narrow back at Blair's. "No. You wouldn't. Nate doesn't know about that, and telling his father now would look like you were holding back info to protect me." Blair's smile falters, while Chuck's becomes larger. "Exactly."

Adjusting her shoulder bag, Blair clears her throat. "Come on, S. Let's go to the _bathroom_." To a grinning Bass she says, "I know you'd love to follow us, as you are quite perverted that way, but I wouldn't, Bass-tard." He only leans against the wall, the perfected image of security and money in his school uniform suit. "Oh? And why is that?" Blair's lips turn up. "Because. You'll look trans." Chuck laughs. "Right." He leans closer to Blair, eyes sparkling, voice low. "Trust me. No girl here thinks _that_." Blair scoffs, frozen in front of him, until Serena pulls her into the girls' room, turning to her friend with a questioning expression on her pretty face.

"So," she says, "you and Nate?" Blair breathes out dramatically. "God, S, seriously. I don't even know what I'm doing wrong. He had the perfect opportunity at the movies Friday, the lake on Saturday, and our walk on Sunday. He had a chance in _December_ at his party and he still hasn't kissed me! We've been together since kindergarten; you'd _think_ we'd be past reservations by now." Serena grins, pulling up her wavy blonde hair. "Maybe he wants to wait to kiss you. It's nice." Blair rolls her eyes. "Says the girl who's had three boyfriends, one of them in juvie." She wrinkles her nose in disgust and Serena laughs. "Oh, come on, he wasn't that bad! His letters were really sweet!"

"Yeah, sure. What I'm _saying_ is- you kissed _them_ all the day you started dating! Nate and I have literally been dating longer than people date before they get _married_! What if he's _gay_ or something? And I'm his_ cover_? Oh, my _God-_" Serena laughs, catching at her friend's arm. "Whoa, okay, no. Nate is definitely not gay. He looks at you like you're the best thing ever. You shouldn't be worried, B." Blair shrugs her shoulder, lifting her bag as the warning bell rings. "Yeah, well. I am. I'm amazing and all but what if that isn't… enough for him? We've been friends for years, you, me, Nate… even _Chuck_. He knows me by now. What if he doesn't like what he sees?"

"As if," Serena says. "You've got him wrapped around your finger, B. No sweat. Let's go. We're gonna be late to living environment and you know how Mrs. Blanchard likes to make us dissect worms in detention." She nudges Blair, as she hadn't laughed. Stopping, Serena looks fully at Blair. A frown is etched on her face, which Serena tries to pull up. She lets her fingers drop and Blair's lips turn back down. "I don't even know how to kiss. He could kiss me and completely catch me off guard and-" Serena holds her hand up. "Hold it. Relax. Breathe. Okay, look, I can help you. Give you pointers if you'd like. And Chuck has definitely had a lot of girlfriends-"

"Gross; no! That's like- I don't know, something awful! Ugh; I can't think; my head is full of Chuck and kisses which definitely do _not_ go together so let's _go_ already; do you want to be late?!" Serena shakes her head as Blair hurries on ahead, stressed. And a stressed Blair was an unhappy Blair. And if Blair was unhappy… bombs away.

In science class, Blair can hardly focus. Transferring the iodine from test tube A to D was certainly not a suitable distraction, and it was also completely boring. Her safety glasses were surely leaving dents in her flawless skin, and the latex gloves were making her hands clammy. It wasn't that she wanted to rush Nate; it was just they'd been together so _long_. They were voted the cutest couple by their peers, and most likely to marry. They both worked on the student council, Nate as student body president and she as his vice president and treasurer. Chuck was the… She actually didn't know what he did, but it was probably self serving. Serena worked on the dance committee and helped the council with decorations and posters. No other group of friends (frenemies) had accomplished as much! Didn't he appreciate all they'd done? All they could do? But for what, if they were pretty much just friends who _held hands_? She and _Serena _did that! Blair slams her hand onto the table, causing the others to stare at her. Serena whispers, "Are you okay?"

"Of course," Blair replies. Serena eyes her for a second, speculative, but eventually glances away, back to the project. As if it _mattered_.

"So," the devil's spawn says, smirk evident in his tone, if Blair hadn't been able to see it plainly on his stupid face. "You've come to the right place." Blair crosses her arms, pushing herself into the leather back of the couch. "Have I? The dread I feel in the pit of my stomach tells me otherwise," she spits. Chuck, by now, isn't affected by her words. They lack conviction, as her mind isn't fully in the game they've been playing since first grade. "B," Serena prods, "give this a chance." Chuck nods, his wickedly charming features persuasive. "I can help. Though you believe something else, I want to. Nate has been with the same girl his entire life, getting nothing from her-" Blair throw up her hands. "Oh that's great! Topic's changed to sex has it?" The boy's face is calm, annoyingly so, as usual, but extremely infuriating. "For a girl who plays by your rules…" Blair blushes at his appraising. "No," Chuck says, "Nate isn't me, in case you weren't aware."

"No, he isn't. Nobody is, because no other human being is as demented," Blair tells Chuck, smiling sweetly. His eyes darken and he runs his hand through his chocolate colored hair. "Very true. Blair Waldorf isn't human." Blair stands. "Could you just he-" She chokes. "Hel-" Serena stands now, exasperated. "Help her, Chuck! Just help her." Blair swallows, looking as though she tasted something bitter. "What… she said."

Chuck falls into the armchair, relaxed. "Under normal circumstances, I would make you beg, but because this is my best friend we're talking about here… I'll make an exception." He snaps his fingers, and a maid rushes in with a tray carrying one glass of orange juice mixed with liquor. "Alcohol? Really, Chuck?" He shrugs. "Do you see a Bart Bass around to stop me?" He sips the drink, then sets it on the glass table, waving the woman away. She obliges and he looks back to the girls, rising casually to his feet. "Now how did you want to go about this?" Blair raises a perfect eyebrow.

"Tips, I guess. Just what not to do-" Chuck picks his glass up, shaking his head, as if disappointed that Blair didn't get it. "I meant, how did you want to learn? _Advice_ is no good, Waldorf. Classes teach through hands-on activities. Who did you want me to call over here?" Blair shakes her head, confused. "For you to kiss?" At that, she opens her mouth, only air escaping in a half-gasp, half-intake. "Um, _no_. That would be my first kiss! And not with Nate! Are you stupid? Oh, right, dumb question. I know you are, for even suggesting that! Cheating on Nate-" Serena steps in now, mediator as always. "No, B, you don't have feelings for anyone else; anyone you kiss would just be practice; not your actual first _kiss_, or cheating. There's a difference." Blair looks at the two like they're crazy. Though knowing them so long, she knows they really are. "Oh, please; I'd have to _loathe_ the guy! No chance in hell I'd be with him afterwards. Otherwise-"

Chuck and Serena are grinning, though the latter looks guilty rather than amused, as the former does. "No. What's going on?" Blair says. "Well I believe your friend here and I have just come to the same conclusion," Chuck tells her. "You can't kiss just anyone, you have to kiss someone you can't stand. I'll give you a hint. That person is in this room. And it isn't a sexy blonde." He winks at Serena, who rolls her eyes, used to his flirtations. Blair's eyes widen and her mouth opens, face pinched. "Oh, get _real_! Have you absolutely lost whatever sanity you've kept? Charles Bartholomew Bass; you are absolutely despicable-" Serena holds Blair's arms to her sides, trying to calm her. "Stop with the full names and the- flipping out. If you don't want to then we can leave." Blair is ready to run out the door, but hesitates. If she didn't know how to kiss, she'd embarrass herself with Nate. She didn't want to kiss some random stranger either, and though she could barely tolerate Chuck Bass who else could she turn to? Serena's 12 year old brother Eric? Not likely. She'd have to suck it up, for Nate. She looks to Chuck. For once, he isn't smirking. His face is patient, waiting. "Well?" he inquires.

"Don't grope me, Bass," Blair mutters. His eyes roll to the ceiling. "I give you my word. Whatever that's worth to you." Serena grabs Blair's hand, squeezing it. "Remember, this isn't your first kiss, okay?" Blair nods, trying to smile. Serena nods and releases her hand. Blair turns to Chuck. "I'm not jumping on you," she says, praying to God that her voice is even. "So how do we… start?" Chuck laughs, but not in his usual condescending way. "Most cases the guy steps closer first, unless the girl is feisty, or you, of course. But I'll do it in this case. Alright?" She nods. What else could she say to that, honestly. Chuck returns the nod and takes a few steps forward, minimizing the distance separating them. "Now what?" she asks.

"Now…" His arm goes around her waist, slow motion, pulling her towards him. An inch apart now, Blair's eyes flit up to Chuck's. "What do I do with my hands?" she asks him. He uses his own to lift hers to his shoulders, where they rest easily. "Comfortable?" His lips turn up, just noticeable. "Yes," Blair says, surprising not only herself but the boy in front of her. He clears his throat a little, not loudly. "I- He'll put his hand on your cheek. Nate, probably being nervous, will be slower with it." Even saying this, Chuck lifts his own hand carefully, cupping her cheek lightly. She looks up at him. "And," he continues, voice quieter, "he'll lean in. That's when he kisses you." Nod. He pauses, however, and Blair is somewhat taken aback by it. "You can kiss me, Chuck. Really, I want this." Wanted what? She wanted to know how to kiss Nate. But with his best friend so close to her, closer than he'd ever been, Blair can see details she'd never cared to notice before. The slight gap in his two front teeth, the scar from a zit low on his jaw line, the shade of his eyes. His lips curl permanently from years of being spoiled, and his eyebrows are dark and furrowed above his short eyelashes, his gaze focused intently on the girl in front of him. He wasn't as horrid as she'd thought he looked. He could quite easily be described as beautiful. His arm is warm on her waist, a fact of which she is especially aware. She'd never understood why books used fire to describe the feeling of being touched, but as red creeps up her neck, in the moment, she can feel it like as such, a flame. A blaze all along her every place.

Chuck leans down to her unhurriedly, but deliberate. His thumb rubs her cheek bone, and Blair's eyelids droop at the touch. What the hell was she doing? She couldn't feel this way, not about Chuck. Not about anyone who wasn't Nate. But Chuck was so close, too close, making her feel hot and bothered- in a way she found she liked. The hand covering the side of her neck falls to join her own that had slipped onto his arm, lacing their fingers together like puzzle pieces. What must Serena be thinking? Oh, God-

Her hand tears from Chuck's, with some effort, as they are quite knotted together. Chuck looks startled, broken from a spell, and Blair feels out of breath. She rips her eyes away from his face and looks to Serena, who appears lost. Had she thought it was going _well_? This couldn't be happening. "Serena-" Blair's breathless voice gives her away, and she coughs. "Serena, we have to go." Chuck reaches for Blair's hand once again, but she pulls it away as if touched by acid when it brushes her. "Blair-" he tries. "No. No, I have to go." More forcefully, she repeats, "I have to go. Nate was expecting a call." At her words, Chuck's expression closes. What had he been expecting? Had he forgotten her boyfriend, _his_ best friend? "Of course. You can show yourselves out." With that, he disappears from the room, taking his drink with him. Serena is silent, most likely speechless. Blair stares at the doorway Chuck had taken his leave through for a moment before stalking past Serena to the elevator. "Let's get out of here," she mumbles, unable to make her voice any louder.

That would never – could never – happen ever again. Because if there were a next time, and she and Chuck were alone… Blair knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself from making the worst decision of her life. As the elevator hits the ground floor, Blair swears to herself- _Chuck Bass and I will never happen. I have Nate. Nate Archibald. From now on… no more not-first kisses. _

_**Fin.**_


End file.
